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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Raeven - Aint No Miss BeeHaven (Sillygoth)'s LiveJournal:

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Thursday, November 6th, 2003
1:01 am
Should I
Should I say?
Could I say?

What would I speak?
How could I speak?

I feel I am leading him into a dark path of lies.
Should I tell him what is real? Do I tell him?
Should I?

He +does+ know me.
Does he know he knows me?
Should he know he knows the real me?
How should I speak?
How do I tell him?

I should just blurt the truth.
Should I?
Friday, October 31st, 2003
4:46 pm
A party where you should be!
I just saw this on Dani's journal and even though she told me about it more than once and more than thrice, you may have not seen it, dear journal.

I hope my lost Romeo will be there. He sorta knows who I am now!

Vlaid Plad cordially invites you to

Spooky tunes, crazy bats, sneaky outfits
A very special musical performance by SIN 0' G0GG
Venders from around the catacombs and more!

DJs Vlad Plad, Dj Brokeninwing, Mix Master Hell Billy and Jack Dark will bring you to your musical destination.

All of this plus a free Goblet filled with Gizzard and Phantom ooze for the low price of $5! How can you say no to this good-a-deal!?!?

Held at TRAGEDY, tonight!
Sunday, September 28th, 2003
1:22 am
halt the tides
I feel I have started something and am not certain if it was the correct move. Perhaps he knows it is I for which he is suppose to engage in conversation and carry a delight.

Maybe I speak prematurely, however I feel the need to reflect upon my ways as I have been =pulled= to follow such actions. I appear to be drawn and driven in direction I would never imagine to take. I have steered into the lane that leads me into the alley that comes out the other side of a deep and old mountain that has been unchartered and yet unnamed.

Who am I to believe this will come of any good, yet with each step I wish to pull back I am shot forth 5 more steps.

Wednesday, March 19th, 2003
1:34 am
too late
I site here and wait
for my man, my mate

Oh where art thou?
Where are you now?
Monday, March 3rd, 2003
3:03 pm
03 03 03 and 03:03
I know others are doing it, but I can too. They may have beaten me to the "punch", but I thought of it just the same.

He and I have chatted online now by way of Vlad and others and he has no clue even to whom I am. Teehee. I wonder what may come of this adventure! Will he figure it out and not like me?


oooo gotta go
Friday, November 22nd, 2002
7:41 am
some sunny velvet morning
it is cold
my room is dark

but outside's light peers it way into my room

my mind stirs
I await the taking

outside's light will come and awaken
Thursday, October 31st, 2002
1:44 pm
as I am not certain to where all will lead tonight,
I am just as unsure of my feelings

as I cannot see where I am headed,
I am just as confused to where I am

who can really say
who will really know

I must float along
I must sing a song
1:38 pm
as I am not certain to where all will lead tonight,
I am just as unsure of my feelings

as I cannot see where I am headed,
I am just as confused to where I am

who can really say
who will really know

I must float along
I must sing a song
Saturday, October 26th, 2002
6:51 pm
We saw the horror last night and I am glad that YOU were there even though YOU still do not know who YOU are to ME. We ate so much food before the show and I am popcorned out for a few months to say the very least. I am glad that brokeninwing is back to her usual self as many of us including scari, were a bit worried about her for quite sometime.

I have to fix my nails and figure out if boots will go with my new costume for this evening's affair at the mansion. I love going to the castle in the woods. I just wish my special date would actually be coming to escort me. Anna told me that YOU are in fact going to be there, so why why why can't you just come and whisk me away with you as it should be done in the fairy tale.

Drats! I think I just sat on my special lip stick. What a clutz! I sound like Dani.

Sunday, October 20th, 2002
10:33 am
I swim all day just to get to you.
You are not there.

I do it for the warmth.
The fact that you COULD be there.

I know it is my imagination to think you would care.
What is reality is not here nor there.

I am not ready to awaken.
You are not there.
Monday, September 30th, 2002
1:25 am
to think it has been since the days of June since I have paid attention to this place is a wonder, but after hearing that Dani had taken the step back, I thought I would comfort her and do so with mine as well.

changes have been in effect, family, friends, romances, dances, faces and traces.
I am still after my knight, however I have almost made brewed my courage long enough to make the initial move! We seem to hae more and more ties which will enable me to feel comfortable to "accidentally" wind up in a conversation with him. I may even make it so he feels he is the one starting.

I have new poems to share and am actually looking forward to returning my energy here.
My other home.
Monday, June 10th, 2002
5:45 am
can't sleep
i just can not sleep
is it because i am thinking of someone special
is it because i have some new friends and have experienced a wild weekend
or maybe the thought that my life seems to be taking on new shape

time for this diary space has been slowing as my art continues to flourish
what i really desire right now is a companion
if YOU are reading this
simply contact me
that is only if it is YOU and YOU know who YOU are.

i can't sleep
Friday, June 7th, 2002
3:33 am
Pulsating madness runs all



all over me wet

my body tremors
the thought
of your

I am

into eat

piercing skin


chopping mental blockers

each other

face it.
I know you
you know I know you
you know I want you
just take it
take it!

I am
Thursday, June 6th, 2002
6:28 am

I can not fall back to sleep now
I know you meant well
Do not do this again
The Queen will slit your throat!
Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
10:08 am
we ran for miles and miles it seemed
no one was after us

why were we running

we had no destination
we had no search
no quest

we ran for mile and miles it seemed
Monday, June 3rd, 2002
11:04 am
helpless helpless
=== helpless helpless ===

I---m i----n
a pool of my own con---fus---ion

How can---
I see my way out a---lone

Will I---
surround my self with thoughts that float me

Will I---
leap off these to unbound my sentance

=== helpless helpless ===
Saturday, June 1st, 2002
6:01 pm
days of nothing
sitting here
----- waiting

listening for answers to my fear
----- nothing

hoping for you call even though we know not each other
----- zero

our paths are moving closer
our friends combining forces
we will be amongst each other again
it matters not that you know how I feel
it matters ------- NOTHING

sitting here
----- waiting

listening for the mist to clear
----- nothing

hoping for you write me or tap on my window here
----- zero

our paths are moving closer
our friends are becoming the same
we will be amongst each other again, I know it
it matters not that you know how I feel
it matters ------- NOTHING

The days of nothing
Days of nothing

-words that come to mind when playing some mp3 by Zeitmahl that I downloaded here:

Current Mood: ----+---
Thursday, May 30th, 2002
11:06 am
borrowed politely from Dani

which Episode II character are you?

Queen of Naboo. You could have a split personality - simply to hide who you really are. You are extremely polite and gentle. However, if needs be, you will take action and can be a very good leader. You have the power to make people believe in you - use this power. The one you love could also end up being the one you hate.

4:41 am
Up and Awake I am
I should be sleeping and dreaming
Yet I was out far past my time
For I was with ladies of the crime.

Which ladies?
You might ask.
or Witch ladies?
You may question.

Dani, Shari, Susan, Mae, Blu
Yes, six women in all, it is true.

Bed now for this dame.
Tomorrow it will be more of the same game.
I must go to the land of Z's
I leave you now in peace.
Tuesday, May 28th, 2002
1:45 am
home in bedroom
night was fun
met the girls
laughter overdone

I could fill lines upon lines
But my friend, journal, it is now time to unwind.
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